Stop Smoking

Photo courtesy of https://news.antiwar.com

My romance with smoking started when I was 16.  I just stepped into college and the new found freedom and beefier allowance funded this habit.  It was an on and off thing with us — cigarettes and me — since then. Sometimes my dry spell would last years, sometimes days.

My latest spell was for 1 1/2 years. Last June 2010, just a few days short of my 40th birthday, I decided to quit smoking.  It was a cold turkey moment but I never looked back…until December 2011. The trigger? A spat with my fiance.

I told myself that I would just finish the pack of Marlboro Lights Menthol that I bought — together with the cute pink Cricket lighter.  That one pack stretched to 2, then 3, then some more until I lost count.  I promised myself today – December 31 would be my last day of smoking.  So I would probably keep on puffing until the clock strikes 12 and ushers in 2012.  I am unsure if I can do this. Seriously and honestly.  And I’ve been racking my head of the reasons I had when I stopped smoking before.  They worked, albeit for a period.   These reasons are shortlisted below:

1.  Self-dare.  Since my boyfriend refuses to dare me to quit smoking, I dare myself. Since I am a proud person, this works for me. During this period, it was a tug of war between my rational and irrational self  (or is it selves?).  The cerebral would win some battles but eventually lose the war so to speak. I mean, how easy is it to negotiate with oneself?

2. Health  conditions. In the latter half of the last decade, I had a gum problem which required me to undergo weekly gum scaling and planing for a month.  Aside from being expensive and painful, it was inconvenient since my dentist’s new clinic was so out of my normal route.   My dentist warned me that I should temporarily avoid smoking while in treatment lest I get an infection and think of permanently quitting to avoid relapse.  I did quit but only for a while.

3. Fact: Smoking really kills.  The sheer magnitude of testimonials and researches on the evils of smoking will cause you palpitations.  If the emphysema or lung cancer wouldn’t kill you … fright would, for sure.  This fact, I guess, would be the the most compelling reason for the large chunk of the smoking populace because of the extensive and credible documentation. But, sorry to say the magic works a week at most for me.  The sooner I stopped reading,  the sooner I bounce back to the puffing-wagon. Besides, my latest annual physical exam was okay.

4.  I’m not getting any younger.  This, by far, is the most compelling and in fact the reason for my longest dry spell ever…at least in my already faltering memory.  I’m in my 40s and I don’t want to ruin my already very slim chances of getting pregnant by frying my remaining good eggs one cigarette stick at a time.  Some mothers would stop smoking the moment they find out they are pregnant — sure this is better than continuing to smoke but it would have been better if all traces of toxins from smoking were already out of their system before they conceive, right? Since my boyfriend — who is now my fiance …and I thought we would tie the knot last August 2009, I stopped smoking 2 months before. That way, we could deal with our baby project right away. But, as history would have it,  we postponed tying the knot until I am sure I want to — that is another issue I’ll cover next time.  With no definite date — or should I say plans  to get married or bear children of my own, I didnt think I should held out on cigarettes.  So, when my fiance and I had a fight early this month … I went to the nearest 7-11 and bought my cigarette and lighter combo.

5.  Time is really ticking.  I’m now 40 1/2 years old.  In 6 months, I would make my slim chance of getting pregnant a lot slimmer.  Hence,  a burst of genius on my part to decide I’d like to get married on February 28, 2012 (an auspicious date according to the chinese) and start working on a healthy baby.

What am I blabbing about? There are plenty of reasons to quit smoking.  What make these reasons compelling for anyone is the timing.  If my bioclock is not ticking perilously … I would probably continue smoking.  Nothing beats a nice long puff after a great meal or after a stressful day or before working on something sure to be stressful. But, as I’ve said, age is a bitch.  Despite my desire to go bitching back, I can’t …  without risking long-term consequences.  It would be robbing myself of motherhood or my future baby the chance to be healthy. Unthinkable in exchange for a few more sticks of cigarettes.

My point is that the choice to stop smoking is in your hands. NOW. Sure it is difficult (believe me, I know!) But, would you rather wait until Father Time gives you an ultimatum by way of an irreversible sickness or like in my case a ticking bioclock?

I wish you the best. We can do this.

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