50 Shades of Grey Trilogy

 

 

ho hum

 

I was reading Game of Thrones when my curiosity was piqued by all the talk about this 50 shades thing. I enjoyed book 1. got exasperated by book 2. dumped book 3 – after almost a 100 pages of honeymoon sex — goodness gracious … christian and anastascia have been sexing since book 1…my friend aptly put it … they’re on it like bunnies.

Here’s my review. Take it with a grain of salt.

Upsides

1.  Talks about dominants/submissive/sadist/masochist relationships and acts (kindda vivid for me) freely.

2.  Feeds women’s fantasy of true love and being a sex goddess — who wouldnt want to be?

3.  Great pacing for book 1. Book 2 — so so. Book 3 – duh.

4.  If you want to learn some nice sex tricks — this can help. Yes, tips about “kinky fuckery”

5.  You’d be in great company — each of the books in the trilogy occupy the top 3 of NY’s bestseller list.

6.  Use of dialogues rather than prose. I hate prose … unless I read scientific journals.

7.  The alter ego of the female lead — great comic relief. Reminds me of Ally McBeal. HHhhmmm…maybe it is from Ally McBeal.

Downsides

1.  Stretched to a trilogy when a single book would do. it’s a simple formula. filthy rich man with pervert issues falls head over heels (very hard)  with naive girl who — surprise surprise- heals him of his issues. could it get any more trite?

2. So many lewd scenes — sex gets old after a while.  Sorry, graduated from all of these things early on — from Mills and Boons to Barbara Cartland to Judith McNaught to Julie Garwood to Jade Deveraux blah blah blah

3. Limited vocab of the author — e.g. oh my, oh crap, quickens, hitches — let me count the number of times i’ve read these…bordering on being mantras …ugh

4. Characters are not well developed. They pop, swing by and poof. e.g. Leila and Mrs. Robinson

Wishes

1.  Deeper details on the roots of the pervert issues of the lead.

2.  More story, Less sex, please.

3.   A more realistic lead — a hardened drop dead gorgeous  man — no pun intended — doesnt just go soft and googly eyes overnight over some clumsy patootsie.

4.  More character development — I like to get to know Elena and Leila better.

5. Be more realistic — maybe I havent met one so filthy rich but the lead seems to own all of establishments in seatlle…beauty salon? resto? club? publishing houses? what about starbucks?? maybe he bought out howard schultz too. too incredulous.

There. I am so glad I didnt buy the trilogy. Thanks to my friend who shared her downloaded mobi files with me.

 

 

Pet Peeves

2Things:

1. Don’t say CONGRATULATIONS to the bride … It is more appropriate to greet her BEST WISHES.  Congratulations sort of connotes “Finally girl! You’ve snagged a man!”   It doesnt matter if it is true … reserve your “CONGRATULATIONS”  for the groom.  It actually appeals to how they are wired — they are supposed to be hunters, right? conquerors?  Saying congratulations boast that their hunter/conqueror instincts. 🙂  

2.  Don’t say “WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THE MARRIAGE?” when you actually mean “WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THE WEDDING?”  Wedding is the celebration that makes man and woman  — husband and wife.  It is a one day event.  MARRIAGE is actually a commitment to be husband and wife for the rest of our lives.

       If you insist on asking them WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THE MARRIAGE? Be prepared to get answers like “WE PLAN TO MAKE IT WORK.” or “WE PLAN TO  HAVE A TEN-YEAR TERM, RENEWABLE THEREAFTER.” 

🙂